You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
