She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize