that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize