Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
