You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
