Already got asked if we're dating
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
