Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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