I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
