Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
