Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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(415): View more from California

JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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(256): View more from Alabama

he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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(425): View more from Washington

we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

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(425): View more from Washington

In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

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(480): View more from Arizona

You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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(941): View more from Florida

you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins

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(860): View more from Connecticut

No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked

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