New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize