Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
