We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
