Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
