I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
