it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
