You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize