Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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