2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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