I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
