HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
