Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
