i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize