She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
