just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize