I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize