I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
