He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
