so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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