Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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