They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
