I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
