I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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