Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
