you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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