Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
