How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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