last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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