I feel great
I just peed on a car
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
