drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
