I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
