either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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