This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
