No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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