Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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