Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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