I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
