I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
