He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
A bitchslap is in order.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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