Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
