dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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