you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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