I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
high people should be assigned attendants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
