I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dicks are not precious.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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