She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
