wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
