Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize