I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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