I want to stick my p in your. b.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
