There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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