He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
