Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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