I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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