put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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