hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
