Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
