OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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