They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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