her vagine was all disorganized.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Girls should come with a carfax report
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
