i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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