based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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