I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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