We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
