How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
