So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
